So, I am subscribed to The Onion.
For those of you who don’t know, The Onion is a satirical online news site that “pokes fun” at differentstories happening throughout the world. The site uses satire throughout all of their articles to make a point to their readers and, well, make them laugh.
We all know how the media is today– blowing things way out of proportion.
That being said, I thought I’d take a stab at a little satire in a (completely made up) article of my own. This is a creative piece, but with all the controversy about what kids watch on television now a days, or movies, it’s gotten a little ridiculous about all the “requirements” for a movie to be simply rated “G” or “PG.”
Let’s face it, television isn’t what it used to be. I’m a 90′s kid, with “Rugrats,” “Rocko’s Modern Life,” “Star Wars,” and of course, the Disney Channel Movies. I definitely remember my childhood not being as “censored” as it is now a days and I’m proud to say I’m hell-a glad I was a 90s kid!
Now, onward to the article. Enjoy!
Ninja Turtles vs Renaissance Artists?
Florence, Italy: A mother in Italy sends a nasty letter to a college student in American due to them referencing her son’s name wrong. Her son, Raphael, 19, who is a student at a university in Manhattan, met a new friend and when they exchanged names, all chaos broke loose.
Once Raphael stated his name, the first thing his peer said to him was, “Oh, like the ninja turtle, right?” This was the absolute wrong response, for Raphael was named after the very famous renaissance painter and architect, Raphaello Sanzio da Urbino, mostly known as Raphael to most. When Raphael’s mother heard about this, she quickly wrote a letter stating the student was “Unintelligent for not knowing his Renaissance history and should not be watching such television shows.” The Dean of the University, Duke Grandiose, is now dealing with the situation.
This incident brought up a new controversy; questioning whether or not the ninja turtles were corrupting the youth in America to believe in puerile things such as talking ninja turtles and not realize the important, artistic history behind the turtles’ names. TV, in this day and age, just isn’t censored enough for children and is keeping them from learning historical facts.
Honestly? Ever since the Ninja Turtles became such a big icon in kids’ culture all kids can think about now when they hear or see the four names of the Renaissance artists are, well, turtles. Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael are four great men in history who, even from their graves, are being humiliated by the utter nonsense that occurs throughout every single Ninja Turtles episode. Four knowledgeable, skilled artists from Italy losing respect for their names all due to an American television show.
Even if one were to come across a child in America who knew the actual artists by their names, they wouldn’t have the right perspective of them because of the personalities each ninja turtle has. Raphael in the Ninja Turtles is the “bad boy” of the group, when in reality, Raphael the painter was not; he was orphaned at a young age, but grew into one of the best painters of that era and was a virtuous man. Leonardo, who in Ninja Turtles is the oldest, was actually a teenager when Donatello died, making Donatello the oldest in reality. Not only this, but the actual Leonardo was also a scientist, but in the Ninja Turtles it is Donatello who is a scientist and physicist. This is inaccurate information and otherwise poisoning the minds of America’s youth.
Have you noticed a trend in the Renaissance artists? They’re all Italian and good men. Michelangelo was a bit of a wild child, but overall he was a good man and an excellent painter. However, if you look at the Ninja Turtles, none of them are Italian, they are all Californian. This is therefore proving that this American television show is not expanding our youths’ minds to see aspects of other cultures and corrupting the minds of America’s youth to believe that these turtles were actually similar to the famous artists. The Ninja Turtles brainwashed America’s youth, eventually erasing any memory or chance for them to learn about the actual artists that the Ninja Turtles were named after. Even if they did start to learn the history of these four artists, the first images that would come up in their minds when any of the four names were mentioned would be the cartoon, green, Ninja Turtles.
The Ninja Turtles may be tough, but Michelangelo the “bad boy” artist could take all four of them down any day.